Why is Christian Dating so strange?
Christian dating can sometimes be awkward and downright strange. But let’s be fair. All dating is awkward for those inside and outside the church. How could it be otherwise? On a first date, you look at yourself wearing the I-wonder-if-this-will-go-anywhere glasses. Unanswered questions swirl through your mind, causing anxiety. Stress makes communication like swimming through gravel. Does he love me? do I love him? Will she contact me to go out again? Am I attracted to him? What are the skeletons in his closet? Does she want to live in my condition? Does he want to have children? It’s hard to stay calm in the present when your brain is in the future.
If you really want to get married, the person you drink organic coffee with isn’t just a ordinary guy or girl. If things go well, they could become your husband or wife for over 50 years, your sex partner, the mother or father of your children, and the person you will take care of when you are old and sport a scooter. . There, no pressure! Or, the relationship could go in the opposite direction and suddenly hit an invisible wall and fall flat on her face.
All encounters are difficult, but Christians take it to the next level. Have you heard a Christian use any of these expressions: “God told me we were going to get married”, “God told me to break up with you”, “God did not give me peace in your topic ”,“ God gave me a dream about you ”, or“ God gave me this bible verse for us ”. Although they strength be honest, mediation quotes from heaven are incredibly confusing when it comes to dating. For new relationships, delete them at all costs. Later, as you and this cute man or girl head into marriage, sharing how God talks to you about the relationship will be an encouraging revelation to the other person. The timing and your motivation are the main keys to consider.
I was working at my desk when I received a strange email. The message came from a woman who had dreamed of me. She described the dream in detail and asked what I thought it meant. My first thought was a deep one, Uh … I have no idea. What could have been a simple “I love you” email turned into a slightly weird one. Did she expect me to respond with a romantic interpretation? I was frustrated because I liked him.
It is evident from the scriptures that God speaks through dreams. Jacob, Daniel and Joseph (Jesus’ earthly father) all received divine revelations like this that changed the course of their lives. Have you received dreams from God? I believe He spoke to me several times during the night. But what’s the only rule if you’re dreaming of romantic interest? Don’t share it. Spiritual revelations are fantastic and essential to our faith in all their forms. Love, however, is pretty complicated, so save the nightly aberrations for much later in the relationship.
Some Christians make encounters strange because of the spiritual language. Did someone say “I will pray” when you asked for a date? I heard it once. Grimace. There is also the Christian classic, “God did not give me peace for you” when it broke up. These lines are just a gentler version of God-said-this and God-told-me-that. You might call these lines “spiritual euphemisms”.
As much as we seek the Lord, a single woman does not need to hear this God wants you to date her. She needs to know that you want to go out with her. Likewise, a single guy won’t respond though God told you break up with him. He needs to hear that the relationship is not something you want to.
It’s not that all of these spiritual phrases aren’t true per se; is that they are useless in dating. God does not need us to arbitrate his voice for a relationship to be successful. Speak spiritually with your Actions, not your words. Our responsibility is to stay close to Him throughout the encounter process.
One of the best ways to portray God’s work in your life is to have the courage to speak in clear, unambiguous language. If a cute Christian catches your eye, pray about your feelings and intentions without them. Then, however you invite them, use plain language. Instead of saying “God made me dream about you,” just ask, “Do you want to date yourself? How about expressing an “I like you” instead of “I have peace to go out with you”? You can never go wrong with plain language. Even responding with an “don’t know” or “I have to think about it” is also perfectly respectable and honest.
Honesty and vulnerability can also ease dating awkwardness. I arrived to meet a woman I had communicated with online and asked her how she was doing. She replied, “I’m nervous. Her humility and transparency broke the ice, and I replied that I felt the same. After both admitting our nervousness from the first date, we were free to laugh and enjoy the date. The best daters learn to manage their emotions on a regular basis and to effectively share their expectations.
But there’s no denying that dating is uncomfortable no matter how hard you try to avoid it. The clumsy is here to stay. Kiss him. Give yourself and your romantic relationships the space to experience the typical tension, questions, and discomfort. It’s normal. Go with the flow and laugh at it. Take dating seriously, but not too seriously.
Even in extremely uncomfortable situations, find a way to have a good laugh and go with the flow. Consider the man I read who drove to pick up her date at her house. When he knocked on the door, he was greeted by the woman’s older sister. It’s particular. Where is she? The woman confessed that her sister had decided to go on vacation with their parents. Is that so? But he didn’t walk away sulking. Without missing a beat, he asked her in place. She agreed and they finally got married. I’m giving this guy props. If that isn’t the epitome of making the most of a sticky situation, I don’t know what it is.
Many of us have had our Homer Simpson moments as we hang out with someone new. Dating is best when we can keep it light and learn to laugh at ourselves and the awkwardness of getting to know a potential wife or husband. Hope everyone gets married with at least one hilarious dating story. My only friend even got a framed photo of him and his date after their first outing. I would be scared for date # 2 but it wasn’t. They got married a year later. If this is you, don’t worry. It is a zone of non-judgment.
It’s important to remember that the weird isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just fantastic. God seemed to fuel some relationships that developed in strange ways in the Bible. When Ruth lay down at Boaz’s feet in Judges 6, it was strange (and very provocative). When God ordered Hosea to marry a prostitute, it was weird. We hope that God knew what was best and that His will was being fulfilled in these specific cases. I don’t understand why He chose these strange ways, but God does what He wants. He is God. For us, please-oh-please stop using weird and overly witty phrases. Can we leave the strange things to the Lord? In doing so, you will be free to grow in Christ and in your relationship with one another.